Ramadhan

Kalau nak kate ilham, hari2 pon ade... kalau ikot ati nanti binase, memandangkan ini bulaN POSE.. Ya Allah, ilhamkanlah yang luar biase.

nak kuat mudah aje, angkat besi otot kenyal, nak berani cam susah je, risiko besar jiwa mau kental.

kata orang macam macam, kalau diikut tak jadi keje, asalkan usahanya tak haram, ape jadi redah aje...

hari tu terdengar satu ustaz cakap yang bulan pose ni rezeki orang beriman akan bertambah.. bile dengar tu dan check balik income bulan ni yang merudum sesuai dengan keadaan ekonomi semase (walaupun PM kate ekonomi dah baik) ditambah pulak ngan bonus yang cume 1/3 dari biase.. tetibe je rase kerdil.. (ye la kalau beriman =rezeki bertambah, rezeki berkurang = ?)

Tapi sejak malam tadi, mencuranh2 idea dan ilham lengkap dengan perasaan confidentnye.. akhirnya aku insaf yang duit gaji dan bonus tu cume ape yang bos bagi.. dan boz punye rezeki pon bukan la dari die sendiri.. kan semuanya dari Allah.. sesungguhnya idea, ilham, peluang dan keyakinan tu kan lebih berharga dari semua yang bos aku mampu bagi.. subhanAllah.. insaf.. insaf..

The enterprise

Captain’s log:
Sunday, August 08, 2010.
Plus minus 30 minutes before departure from Kota Bharu bus station. My beloved wife is doing her isya’ prayer. Since afternoon, without any conscious reason, I feel so close to Kelantan.. almost like home. I was chasing the feeling all over my body to ask what’s going on, but the feeling keep avoiding me. This feeling is no alien to me –I had the same feeling some time in my life-that whenever it comes, the craving for personal freedom and independence increases… before it goes back down again (off course. Hehe). It has touched the threshold few times but not strong enough for me to make a big decision.. my past decision to take a baby step in my action has always dictated my decision making machine... Then I realize also few times in my life that it would be easier if we know what would happen in the future, when we take that huge step, then there will be no hesitation for us isn’t it? I believe that almost everyone in this world has experienced this (if not where the job of fortune teller come from?). But when Allah prohibited us from fortune telling or fortune knowing, for me it’s simply that Allah wants us to take risk!
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Hmmm.. Well I guess that’s it.. the feeling that I’ve got this evening until now.. maybe that is my guts telling me “ Hey dude! Come on get out there and get some risks.. Get the life you have always dreamt off. Just like the old days when you always love street racing and all those adventures you have had at that time. Just maybe in a different field and a different game.. but with me, GUTS!, that you locked deep down here.. for such a long time….” Yeah maybe it’s right.. fear has crippled me from making any big decision…. Until… hmm, I am hoping that it is as easy as saying “now”…
Thinking
Thinking
Thinking
Well, maybe it is!